How to be happy (regardless of your circumstances)

I'm sitting in the library after a hard day of working a manual job.

What job?

I started working as a stone mason a few days ago.

I glue stones to walls.

My boss is fair and my coworker (yes there's only one) is lovely.

Is this the life that I expect for myself? No.

Am I happy regardless? Yes.

In this article I will be talking about happiness and how to actually achieve a happy life.

But beware. The answer is not something that you'd expect.

So first of all...

What the hell is happiness??

Close your eyes and think about happiness.

What comes to mind?

Serenity, calmness, fulfillment, euphoria?

You are probably thinking about an emotion or experience.

Happiness is an emotion that we perceive that comes from many different places.

But happiness is not a single feeling, but a concoction of many.

And if we try to pinpoint what exactly happiness is we quickly come to notice that it's nothing tangible.

Rather it is a fleeting emotion that comes and goes like the tides of the ocean.

But how come some people seem happier than others, if it's just an emotion that comes and goes?

It's for the same reason that some people seem angrier, or sadder than others.

People who are happy the most often perceive happiness more frequently.

I need to state this obvious fact, because it might not be so obvious for some.

But let's dissect it for a second.

Happiness can come from a multitude of places and the most common ones are:

- Comfort (Easy & Instant Gratification)

- Discomfort (Hard & Delayed Gratification)

The reason why 99% of people feel miserable is because they gravitate towards comfort.

Comfort is a tricky trap.

It's the red woman from the Matrix.

It distracts you with it's attractiveness.

But you get incautious and before you know it you are spending your evenings binge-watching Netflix while eating UberEats every day.

Then there's discomfort.

Discomfort is a tough love.

It expects a lot from you and is ready to reward you for your efforts.

The only catch? You have to do the first step.

The difference between comfort and discomfort?

One is guaranteed to make your life worse and the other is guaranteed to make it better.

One requires no effort, while the other requires heaps of it.

But what gives comfort and what discomfort?

Honestly, I shouldn't need to tell you this, because you know this already.

Nonetheless, here's a few examples:

Comfort:

• Eating strawberry ice cream

• Ordering your favorite meal on Ubereats

• Watching and Masturbating to porn

• Taking drugs (Yes, alcohol and tobacco count too)

• Scrolling on TikTok

• Watching your favorite TV-show

• ...

Discomfort:

• Learning a new skill

• Moving countries

• Asking your crush out

• Training hard

• Eating clean

• Cold showers

• Fasting

• ...

You might find some activities more comfortable than others, but you get the gist of it.

Replacing comfort with discomfort is what will increase your happiness more than anything else will.

So what can you do right now to be happy?

There is no big secret here.

You need to step outside your comfort zone.

You will need to step into the big unknown and feel the daunting emotion of uncertainty to actually grow a more beautiful life.

To make it easier, start simple.

Take one habit that you know makes you too comfortable and exchange that with one that is uncomfortable.

Love playing video games every day?

Take 30min of your daily gaming time and learn a skill instead.

Like to eat junk food every day?

Swap out one meal a day with a healthy homecooked meal.

It's the small changes that have the biggest impact over time.

Don't try to swap out 5 of your old habits at once.

Go step by step and learn how to walk before you start running.

Life your life in discomfort and you will feel comfortable everywhere.

Be happy my friend.

One last word:

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If you're feeling uncreative check out the Creative Flower to get you some creative ideas.

Thanks for reading and until next time.